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One night

A conversation with my friend inspired me to write this poem...I was really disappointed when she told me about this guy b/c he seemed different from the rest but I was proven wrong! Hopefully I will find that diamond in the rough cause all I see now is a bunch of coal lmao

From the beginning I made no promises
This situation had no strings attached
I know you want to be my girl
but I'm not ready for all of that
Can we just live in the moment
Instead of worrying about what tomorrow may bring
I can just up and leave right now
and not feel a thing
Not worried about what you may think
because there is no us
I don't care about what you do after this
because there is no trust
Our time is right here right now
You are my temporary reliever of stress
That was the deal from the beginning
Never asking for no more or no less
I am about to leave before it gets tense
You are not important enough for us to continue to fight
Just know that the next time I come around
The only thing I owe you is one night

Every other girl

This is dedicated to all of the "players" of the world...you have met your match with me!


You thought that I was a hit it and quit it type chick
Someone you could bag and run through right quick
Cause you are used to smashing every cute thing that walks by
Believe me when I tell you there is more to me than meets the eye

Since I resisted your advances you think I'm playing a game
To you women are like pawns on a chess board we're all one in the same
I am one in a million the type of person that comes along once in a blue moon
And its your fault that you thought you could have me so soon

Trust me when I say that I'm a different kind of breed
Sex is something to be cherished for you its something you need
You need it to feel better about the man you think you are
In reality you have a boy's mentality and that won't get you far

Days turn into weeks and you still haven't gotten your "prize"
I turn you down and keep it real with you, you respond by telling me lies
"You know that you are special to me. I'm just not ready to settle down."
"I have to get this out of my system but one day soon I will come around."

I can only look forward not back and I certainly don't have time to wait
Building a life on broken promises will only end in a disappointing fate
I see right through the bullshit and I can't deal with a man like you
Someone who is vain and shallow and who's heart remains untrue

You are upset that you failed at your own game
Many men have tried to play me but the end results were always the same
I told you from the beginning that I am not like the rest
Before I give my heart to any man I put him to the test

It hurts to find so many failures but at least my pride remains intact
There was a time in my life where I let a man throw me off track
I am wiser and stronger now and know that I deserve the world
And to think you thought that I was just like every other girl!

No matter what

This is a freestyle poem meaning I just wrote it down based on what I was feeling at the time...it isn't my best work but its good lol....its called no matter what and for those who are wondering this situation described in the poem never happened to me so don't think I'm going through it right now lmao! here goes!


Woke up feeling woozy but I don't remember taking any medication
All I can focus on was our last conversation
You said that you loved me but that just wasn't enough anymore
and that you would never forget what we had then you walked out the door

I get up out the room and see remnants of broken glass
Did I black out or did everything just happen too fast?
I start sweeping but when I saw the picture I dropped the broom
I snapped once again and threw it halfway across the room

The frame hit the mirror and the vase sitting on the vanity table
At one point in time I could push past this but now I'm no longer able
I go to pick up the pieces and didn't stop until I noticed I was bleeding
Don't care about the bruises my heart hurts far more cause you're the one I'm needing

How do I just forget about us and pretend that everything is alright?
You live inside of my soul even though you are out of my sight
All these years thrown out the window all because you gave up on me
You gave up on what we had and where we wanted to be

When things became too tough you took the easy way out
You let other people cloud your head with insecurities and doubt
When you are in love nothing or no one could step in our way
You used to say our love would last forever and a day

Forever is a long time too long for you to push past the pain
Too long for you to wait for the sunshine that comes after the rain
If I could do it all again the 2nd time I wouldn't make the same mistakes
He would give 100% and make it work no matter what it takes!

The Ride

I was listening to Beanie Siegel's record towards Jay-Z when I heard him say something that hit me hard he said "I understand, everybody can’t go and you already on…" I have been trying so hard to keep the same group of friends that I grew up with but I am starting to understand that not everyone can go with you when you are trying to go places in your life. Those same friends that were the ones that kept me going have become the ones that are holding me back. Whether it be their negative attitudes towards my hopes and dreams or just drama in their own lives they have become extra baggage instead of helping me carry the burdens on my shoulders. That one line inspired me to create this poem titled "The Ride"

I was told not to follow my dreams but to chase them
so I am running until I lose all of my breath
Nothing or no one can stop me
I was born to do this so I will continue until death

The same ones that were there since the beginning are still hanging on
but we no longer travel at the same speed
They have become a heavy weight that I drag along with me on this journey
and have set me back which is something that I don't need

I love them so much that I tried to make them understand my passion
and why I choose to deal with some of life's pain
they look at me confused because they think I should take the easy way out
and deep down inside they think I'm insane

They tell me that I could have had the easy life
instead of taking risks and chances that are not seen as wise
if I would just think logically and played it safe
I would have already earned the ultimate prize

I have always thought outside of the box
never lived my life based on other's expectations
So if I have to fail before I succeed
I will gladly go through all of the trials and tribulations

So many feel that I have made the wrong choices
and as much as this is going to hurt inside
I have to let you and all of your negativity go
Not everyone can come along for the ride

To forgive and forget...easier said than done!

I am a very forgiving person....too forgiving at times but I feel that you can't be mad at someone forever especially if its over something so petty so if I am angry at someone for a long period of time and I won't let the shit go then its serious. This guy I used to be real cool with when I was younger played me and disrespected me and when I confronted him about it he had no remorse. He looked down upon me and what hurt the most is that he knew me when I was at a low point in my life and was someone who would always be so encouraging and positive. When his attitude towards me did a complete 180 it surprised me at first then angered me. Then I realized why I was so mad. He had changed but for the most part I didn't.I still fed into the insecurities that haunted me when we were younger and I let his opinion about me and my life influence my feelings and behavior towards different situations. It made me so mad because I was always so supportive of him and proud of his accomplishments but when I found out how he flipped on me I wanted him to fail more than anything. His failure wouldn't help me succeed but I wanted him to feel the way I felt. I let him get under my skin and make me bitter and that was the worst thing I could have done. I often wondered about running into him at different places and how I would react towards him.I saw him from a distance recently and tried to avoid confrontation b/c I knew if we spoke I would be mad at myself afterwards for pretending to be nice when in reality I wanted to wring his neck lmao. This situation has been weighing heavily on my mind and I realized that being mad at him is not hurting him especially since he's living life(living it up real nice I might add) and I am still in the same place mentally and physically that I was in b4 any of this drama happened. I need to live my life and be successful in my own right. I feel that you have to have send out positive vibes in the atmosphere for positive things to happen in return. Being mad at him makes me mad at myself and I can't live my life being a bitter person. I forgive him and wish him the best. God has a plan for me that no one can destroy and I know that my success will come in due time. Until then I'm gonna keep pushing...pushing all of the obstacles and negativity out of my way so my vision becomes clearer and within my reach!!!! Much love!

Relationships 101...let class begin!!!

Most of my friends are single ladies like myself...some of them have children some don't but no matter what the situation is we are all looking for the same thing. A giving, loving, honest and most importantly straight(lol) man that will not complete us because we are strong self sufficient women without them but be the extra cherry on top of our lives. We tend to stress in relationships and doubt our choices so much that men like Steve Harvey come out with books in order to help us figure out the male species(his book was amazing by the way a definite must read) As much as I loved "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" his book was just common sense wrapped up in 300+ pages....Most women know what they want and what they deserve but we settle because we don't want to be alone, we feel that this is as good as its going to get or we ignore warning signs b/c we are so into the idea of being in love that we try to not sweat what seems like small stuff only to find it blow up in our faces later on in the relationship. Most of us have had our hearts broken and been through it mentally (and some of us physically) but still haven't given up on the love of our lives...I know he's out there! I am all for not giving up and trying to make things work but I wish some of us knew just when to throw in the towel. 3 situations come to my mind that made me question these ladies behavior and made me realize just how much love you have to have for yourself before you can share love with anyone else.


This first girl I will call her "Denial"...She met this guy and at first she thought he was prince charming everything she asked for..as the relationship progressed the fairy tale ending that she dreamed up seemed so far away. He was acting shady but she kept on giving chances ignoring the warning signs flashing right in front of her face. She told herself that she was being insecure and that since she was so honest and forthcoming with him that he would be the same with her...dead wrong! She learned that honesty is not always reciprocated and to ignore what's staring at you right in your face is the ultimate deception...lying to yourself also known as being in denial!

This second girl I will call her "Fighter"....she fell in love with someone who is considered a ladies man. He gave her the world and then some but as much as he loved her he couldn't be faithful. She knew his love for her ran deep and she loved him more than anything. She was there when he had nothing and would continue to be there no matter what. I believe she felt that this was enough to make the relationship work. She told herself this but doubts still ran in her mind so she did the snooping, questioning etc only to find answers she knew all along. She knew that she should end it but this man was the love of her life no one ever made her feel this way. Eventually he broke up with her and she was miserable for a long time. I would think to myself why did she put up with that shit for so long!!! I don't care how amazing a guy seems if he's cheating over and over on me he doesn't really love me... not true you can love someone with all of your heart and know that they are the one but if both people not 100% committed in a relationship mind, body, and soul then its doomed for failure... she was definitely a fighter but I believe she was in the fight alone.


I will call this last girl "Settling". She has always been into the rough and rugged type because that was the only type of man that could keep her interest. Whether he be a drug dealer or regular hustler she was captivated and intrigued because money and attention were never absent from the relationship. She needed someone who seemed as strong as she was especially since she had to fend for her and her child. She met a guy who fit these qualities but he also had a temper and was abusive. She never compared her life to the tragic lifetime stories but her life was taking a turn for the worse. She stayed with him because he was what she was used to and never thought she could do any better....she's coming around slowly but surely and I don't think she's content with settling anymore!

These 3 women situations always stick in my mind b/c all three of them are beautiful, hard working and intelligent. Why did they have to lose themselves in fear of being alone? They thought this would bring them happiness but in turn it just brought more pain and frustration. I learned so much from them and I thank them for sharing their stories with me. They taught me so much about myself and inspired me to write this. Ladies(and gentlemen!!!) I would love for you to share your relationship stories with me so email me at angelicmelody86@gmail.com and I may choose to write about it in a future blog....love ya'll muah!

Reality...Really???

I decided to take a different approach to this post and ask my twitter followers what they wanted me to blog about...most of them said relationship issues which I will talk about in the next blog but my girl @DivaTN said I should talk about reality tv and how its really not anybody's reality. I agree and in fact I feel that a lot of shows on tv today especially shows on BET and VH1 are degrading to black women. I see all of these women whoring themselves for 15 mins of fame. If you wanted to be take seriously as an actress or model reality tv shouldn't be the go to place to get your start. Before these shows people did things the old fashioned way. They went to casting calls and sent their pictures out to different agencies. Even auditioning for music videos is more respectable than going on shows like For the love of Ray J, Real Chance of Love and the worst of them all Flavor of love(unless you are the Superhead type) The thing that makes me really mad is that all these shows have the word love in them like love is some type of game where if you go through enough women kissing and having "intimate" relationships with them you will find someone that can be your soulmate. These shows are shot in a matter of 6-8 weeks and a camera is around at least 12-16 hours a day so how can anyone really find love without the time and privacy it takes for real relationships to develop and grow. I feel that the ladies in the show that feed into the madness(fights, competitions,snitching on others) for publicity or get so caught up in what they are told by different people on what love is that when REALITY hits them it hits hard and hurts. Not everyone can turn their turmoil into fame like New York has so where does this leave these ladies???They are alone and many times have to hustle to keep the little amount of fame that they have. It's a sad and vicious cycle that only continues b/c people like you and I tune in every week to watch the train wreck unfold....if anyone believes for a second that this is real then he/she needs a reality check and they can start by turning off the tv!

falling in love....with myself!

I decided to write about this topic because its something I've had to fight with my whole life. It took me a while to get to where I am today and to feel the way I do about myself but it was and still is a process believe me! To understand why I am the way I am today you have to know the history of my love/hate relationship...with myself lol! Here goes!


When I was really young like from 3-6 years old I was the cute, shy little girl with the long hair and big eyes. Didn't care about my looks back then just knew that I liked to wear the same skirt all the time no matter how much my mom tried to take it away from me and I liked to watch cartoons and saved by the bell!When I went to 2nd grade however everything changed....out of nowhere my cute little teeth fell out and 2 HUGE teeth came in their place. They stuck out and made a gap and I hated them so I would never smile with my mouth open. 3rd grade didn't help b/c it was then that I found out that I was nearsighted and needed glasses....I finally got braces in 6th grade but by then I already despised what I saw in the mirror. My mom and dad would always tell me how beautiful I was but they are my parents they are supposed to say that! That's what I always told myself! By the time I was in high school my self esteem was fucked up...I had friends but never felt like I fit in...my only escape from everything was music. I loved 90's rnb music especially Brandy, Monica, Aaliyah and Mya! They were so pretty and flawless and I wanted to be Moesha so badly especially when she had Usher as her bf on the show! If you knew me back then you knew me as the "Usher Lover" lol he was my dream guy...All of the dudes I had crushes on were disappointments. I never had a boyfriend or went out on any dates with any guys b/c I never put myself out there like that. I was still shy and quiet and was seen as a bookworm type. They either made me feel like shit or didn't even notice me so Usher was the one guy that seemed so perfect! Even him cheating on Chilli couldn't make me change my mind about him he was just that great lol...that was my "title" in school and although I don't regret it I wish people knew that there was more to me than just him outside of my close friends. After I graduated high school I wanted to get away from the small town I grew up in and move to a totally different place. I fell in love with Atlanta and at that time (2004) Atl seemed like the place to be! Clark Atlanta University was gonna be the school that would finally grant me my new beginning and I would find love and happiness once I arrived but things didn't go quite as planned! I went for a semester came back home and went back a year later. It was then in September 2005 that I met my ex (not on campus but at a walmart outside of atl lol) and he changed the way I looked at dudes and relationships forever. He was my first everything: the first guy I fell in love with the first guy to break my heart and at 19 my big "first" because I lost my virginity to him. He was everything that I always asked God for. Good looking, single no kids and had a good job(he was 23 when we met and had graduated college already) and I thought to myself this can't be. Why would he be attracted to a girl like me?(I still had the braces but exchanged the glasses for contacts) even though I was in a different space physically, I still carried all of the insecurities and doubts about myself that plagued me all throughout middle school and high school. I felt lucky to be with him so I put up with his temper and verbal abuse. I had a feeling he was cheating but couldn't prove it and didn't want to lose him so I pushed it to the back of my mind. He ended up breaking up with me on Christmas night at that and I learned the true meaning of "lovesick". I felt like I was gonna die b/c I was so depressed and lonely. We ended up getting back together but things only got worse. I wouldn't see him for days or weeks at a time and he would come and show up out the blue like everything was okay. I put up with so much but when something tragic happened to me the day b4 my 20th birthday and he wasn't there for me I knew then that I had to leave...I left him and Atlanta in June of 2006 and headed back home....I felt like a different person more open and confident but I still had my doubts. 2007 rolls around and I finally get rid of the braces...I still have a slight overbite but no gap and my teeth are straight:D Ill get invisalign in the future but for now im good lol....I started making new friends and going out to clubs and parties more especially to see Trey Songz lmao....having fun living it up but nothing is ever what it seems. I would see Trey living out his dream showing love to his fans and doing what he was born to do and it made me say to myself "Why am I not doing what I love?" I love entertainment! Gossip music movies all of that and I am always up to date with what's going on! I went from reading Us Weekly and Star magazine every week to reading concreteloop,ybf and necole bitchie everyday! I have great ideas hell Trey even liked my video concept and used it for the video to his single "Last Time"All my friends have said that I need to get back in school so I can look into some internships for different record labels and tv production companies. All of these people have seen my talent so what's stopping me? That's easy I am the one that's standing in my own way. All of those doubts and insecurities came back. Maybe if I change my look up that will make me feel better...different hair style different clothes??? Then I realized that its the man(or in my case the woman) that makes the clothes not vice versa....I am finding physical flaws when in reality I have to work on the inside before I love whats on the outside...I have a love/hate relationship with myself. I am my own worst critic but everyday I'm getting better. As I stated in my previous blog I am starting school this winter majoring in marketing and by Christmas time I will be driving. Setting goals for myself and acheiving them is what makes me happy! It fills my spirit up and in turn I feel fabolous. I won't tolerate bullshit and that same ex that treated me like shit back in 05 and 06 still calls me to this day...he knows he's fucked up and I'm not mad at him anymore but we could never be...going backwards is something I refuse to do. Each day is different but I refuse to go to sleep feeling sorry for myself.....I have so much to offer the world and at the end of the day I am in love with the person I am becoming...confidence is golden and no one will take away my shine....deuces lol:)

Pretty Brown Eyes

They took my breath away the moment I saw them...saw him
I didn't know exactly what to say but as soon as he smiled at me they twinkled
and as sappy as this may sound my heart skipped a beat
I don't believe in love at first sight because you can't love who you don't know
but there was this instant attraction
his aura was magnetic pulling me in with each second
I didn't want to fall in but I could see myself drowning in those brown pools
never to return to the mainland of my mundane existance
Every minute around him made me sink in deeper
Quicksand couldn't have pulled me in fast enough
I have no words so I hope he can interpret my body language
and decipher the signals that I am giving him
I want him to come closer to me physically so we can grow closer mentally
and most importantly I want to find out what lies behind the windows to his soul
but until he makes that first move I will be content in this moment our moment
dedicated to the gentleman who lured me in with those pretty brown eyes

Change is good!

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Thinking about where I am in my life now and where I want to be. In order to accomplish all of my goals I needed a push. I always thought that someone or something would push me to get to where I wanted to go. There would be some sort of sign telling me just what I needed to do in order to achieve my goals. In life we meet people that change our lives and I figured that I would meet that person that would be like a fairy godmother/godfather to me and help me live out my dreams. After a lot of thinking I realized that if that drive and motivation is not inside of me first, then it won't matter who I meet b/c they will encounter someone who is stagnant. I never want to be stagnant, ever! I want to keep moving forward and make sure that every person I meet is the icing on this wonderful cake being made that is my life instead of them becoming the cake itself. Putting too much into someone or something and losing yourself in the process is never good for the mind,body and especially soul. If I want to succeed in life the main person I need to focus on is me. With that being said I will be going back to college in the spring(yes I said that I would start this fall but I have some loan issues that need to be worked out!) and I am working on getting my license(at 23 years old I still don't have it yet smh!) and most importantly I am working on letting go and bringing positivity in my life. I tend to let my insecurities get the best of me instead of focusing on my positive attributes. I am letting it be known that I will make my mark on the world so you have read it here first!!! This song from the Dreamgirls' soundtrack represents what I am feeling at this point in my life. It's called I am changing

Look at me, Look at me
I am changing
Trying every way I can
I am changing
I'll be better than I am
I'm trying to find a way to understand
But I need you, I need you
I need a hand
I am changing
Seeing everything so clear
I am changing
I'm gonna start right now, right here
I'm hoping to work it out
And I know that I can
But I need you, I need a hand

All of my life I've been a fool
Who said I could do it all alone
How many good friends have I already lost?
How many dark nights have I known?

Walking down that wrong road
There was nothing I could find
All those years of darkness
Could make a person blind
But now I can see

I am changing
Trying every way I can
I am changing
I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend
To help me start all over again
That would be just fine
I know it's gonna work out this time
'Cause this time I am
This time I am
I am changing
I'll get my life together now
I am changing
Yes I know how
I'm gonna start again
I'm gonna leave my past behind
I'll change my life
I'll make a vow and nothings gonna stop me now

I'll make a vow and nothings gonna stop me now....and with that said I'm out!

Once upon a time

You never really know a person even though you hear/read so many things about people online...I wrote this poem trying to put myself in a certain someone shoes trying to relate to her situation...let me know what you think!


It was supposed to be us against the world
But you took the world's side and tarnished what we had
Tore it to pieces like the glass I smashed against the wall
When you told me that you and I are finished

Forever is a long time and you told me that's where our future lied
As soon as others came into our space
You let them shift our plans and change the situation
Now I only have two weeks...to move out that is

You swept me off of my feet
Now I'm trying to pick up the little bit of pride I have left
Before you step and crush my hopes and dreams for my life
Just like you did for the life that we created together

My kids are my only source of sanity
I refuse to let you take that away from me as well
Keep only what you came with in the beginning
Even though we created them together they came from within me

You are the reason I don't believe in fairy tales
My prince has fallen short of my expectations
This chapter in the story of my life has ended
If I could take it back I would have stopped at once upon a time

Unhappily Ever After

A certain situation inspired me to write this poem....its very hard to let go and this poem shows just how much! with that being said here goes!


I thought that if I loved you hard enough things would change
No matter what happened I would be your ride or die
And even though folks would talk about us I would still stay strong
Only in the privacy of my room I would cry

Even though my gut told me you were doing wrong
I wanted to believe it was my insecurties messing with my mind
At the beginning of our journey we were in this together
But somewhere along the way you left me behind

All of these months I've been trying to play catch up
Even though you kept me in the dark
I have tried to be the glue that kept us together
Even though other forces in the world wanted to see us apart

If love were enough we would be together for a lifetime
Because our feelings for each other run that deep
I worry so much about losing you
That there's been many nights I couldn't fall asleep

For once I need to stop following my heart
It runs on pure emotion which creates doubt
Because the heart doesn't think logically
I stay stressing trying to sort things out

I am obviously alone in this fight to make this work
But I am not sure how to let you go
I've sacrificed so much that I lost myself in you
You are the only thing I know

Waiting for you to change seems unrealistic
But I can't imagine losing what's become a broken dream
Our reality has become more like a nightmare
Where everything is worse than what it seems

Once upon a time we were perfect for each other
Our life was filled with joy and laughter
But that was then and this is now
And we're living unhappily ever after

Chocolate and Caramel

I wrote this awhile ago but one of my friends loved it so much so I decided to post it here to share with ya'll....lemme know what u think!

tell me if its as sweet as I think it sounds:-)

His dark brown complexion intertwining with her light brown tones blended into the sweetest most sensual experienced they have ever had. He is the world's greatest aphrodisiac smooth and delectable. Just one taste is never enough. He melts in your mouth even though he feels good in your hands because he makes your body tremble. He is better than Godiva, Nestle and Hershey all rolled into one because you can keep going back for more.Every piece of him wants to be licked and sucked and unlike the store brand he is priceless

Her syrupy sweetness has all of the men going crazy. They drop to their knees to taste her treasure. Even though it gets sticky at times the taste is worth it. You get lost drowning in her sugar.And if you give her what she wants she will give you what you crave and all it takes is just one tongue one time. You can make it at home but it won't be the same because her pleasure becomes your own. When she is pleased you know the favor will be returned all while the syrupy sweetness lingers on your tongue.

They taste great apart but putting them together is the ultimate bliss.Between all of the passion from their potion it will make the strongest person surrender. Seduction, allure intrigue and desire all wrapped into one package. He's made for her and she's made for him. The perfect mix of chocolate and caramel

Temptation freestyle

I wrote this about a dude I was feeling at the time and some of our talks inspired me to write this poem! New poetry will be up sometime this week:)


I've been checkin for this dude for a while now
I love his swagger his smile his style...How?
how does he walk into a room and just take center stage...he isn't even
performing and everyone is amazed...so sexy and so fly the definition
of real...always speaks his mind and says just what he feels...
he told me he wanted me and that he would have me soon enough...he'd do me how
i liked it whether it be gentle or rough...He'd have me speakin in
tongues and going into convulsions....have my juices overflowing like a
volcano eruption...I laughed but I knew since the first time we made
eye contact I would cross that line and there would be no goin
back...no goin back to my life full of the same shit...a life full of
boring predictable mundane shit...He was full of excitement like a
rollercoaster ride....and all I could think about was him being
inside....taking me on to that place called ecstacy with our bodies
intertwined...not thinkin about the past just living in this moment in
time....wanting him to take me to higher heights...not tryna go on
airplanes but he can be my 747 all night...have an outer body
experience feeling as though I've reached nirvana..we make our own
private movie but with no comedy or drama...a solely action packed
movie with the best sound effects.... just when u think its over a
sudden twist in the plot makes you unsure of what will happen
next....he is the star and I'm his leading lady...we're shooting the
climatic scene and anyone in the outside world must think we're
crazy....a tingling sensation comes over my body and I start to feel
light headed....one hit of me and u will be addicted I didn't believe
him when he said it...bed, floor, mirror, tub, balcony all of it
becomes blurry...I'm reaching he's reachin but there's no
hurry...living in this moment is what I have always desired....and even
though I've fantasized about him I could not believe what has
transpired....I'm nearing my peak and suddenly there's only one
sound....its coming from my high but I don't wanna come down.....he
soon follows me and he pulls me close...I definitely believe him now
when he says he's doin the most... now back to real life back to the
same old routine....his sex is a drug and I'm officially a
fiend.....its always great while it lasts but afterwards I go through
withdrawals...I love the anticipation and the climax but not the
emptiness after the fall....now I'm back on solid ground no longer able
to fly....he always takes me on an amazing journey whenever he stops
by.....no ticket or passport needed but I had one hell of a
vacation....that man has got me sprung and I will always give into his
temptation!!!!!

Behind his smile

I love this poem because I wrote it trying to put myself in someone else's shoes...its very hard writing about things that you are not sure about but if you can place yourself there mentally and write what you see but most importantly what vibes you feel from that person or situation it expands your creativity.....this poem is not about who you a lot of you may be thinking about...it was written in September of 2006 lol but it can apply to so many people who live in the spotlight! with that being said here it is!

when the curtain comes down
and the lights fade out
he steps out of the spotlight and looks in the mirror

and knows that few have made it this far

tears stinging his eyes because he thinks about her
he acts nonchalant for the cameras but wonders if

he hadn't made that mistake would they still be together
or was this only meant for a season and not a lifetime

the fans only know what they see
but nothing is ever what it seems
their fantasies blurred by a image he has created

the man they see at times is a facade

Privacy is very limited

its like he is in a fishbowl for all to watch

even when the show is over people still want to take a peek

they want to scrutinize, criticize and judge

he is deeper than just telling his secrets

he is more than just a ladies man

he loves like there is no tomorrow

he feels the pain just the same

he has leaches, snakes, and pironas on his back

he doesn't know where to turn or who to trust

he wears dark shades not just to look good but because

he can't trust just anyone looking in the windows to his soul

he's soft spoken but don't mistake it for weakness

he's confident but don't mistake it for arrogance

he knows what he wants and he goes after it

blood sweat and tears doesn't begin to describe his will to win

He is always looking for ways to outdo himself

he manages to go to that next level everytime

the critics are left speechless and his fans amazed

but they don't see the load on his back while climbing to the top

Some people manage to put him on this pedestal

and when he doesn't meet their expectations their world is shattered

they forget that he is a human being

and those trials and tribulations hurt him far worse

He loves what he does but no one but him knows

just how much he has had to sacrifice to be at this point

He makes it look so effortless so easy

but much more lies behind his smile

Pressure

Like I said in my previous post I love poetry and when the mood hits me I will just sit at my computer and write a poem in less than 10 mins lol..This poem I'm posting was written especially for someone a couple of years back but I am sure many of you can relate to this especially the fellas...its called Pressure...Enjoy!

Everyone is driving me crazy

all these motherfuckers are lazy

People keep calling and demanding so much of my time

I can't fall under pressure

I got so much on my mind that I can't even sleep

All the pain and drama in my life it runs deep

I am supposed to be on 24 hours seven days a week

but I guess I was born with all this pressure

These dudes kill themselves trying to take my style

they only see the outside they can't see all the trials

and tribulations I have gone through to make it this far

these dudes know nothing about pressure

The ladies think I'm cute and they like the way I talk

they love my voice and my smile and they like the way I walk

they treat me like I'm a superstar and I guess to them I am

but I'm not getting paid for all of this pressure

I make this look effortless I make this look good

you gotta stay positive when you've had my childhood

hell my adolescense and my adulthood

have made me built for all of the pressure

When you have seen so much in a short period of time

when people will betray you at the drop of a dime

you gotta be cautious be alert and aware

and that in itself is a lot of pressure

I have big dreams for myself they are at arm's reach

I wanna live, laugh and love and most importantly teach

When people look at my life I want them to see

All of me including the pressure

I asked for this life no one is gonna break me

if they want it all to end they will have to take me

away from this earth because that's the only option

and then they will have to take on the pressure

I will take it all if it will get me to the top

these people just don't know I can't and I won't stop

I won't sacrifice my soul or what I believe it to make it

but I will take on more pressure

My kids and their kids will know that I was the best

I always got my way I never settled for less

My legacy will live on forever and only I will know why

I know all about pressure

The beginning!

I always wanted to do a gossip blog but there are so many out there theybf.com bossip.com concreteloop.com and my fave necolebitchie.com but I wanted to be original so I decided to blog about what's interesting to me....I love music, poetry and entertainment in general so I plan to talk about that and my life. So many think they know me but trust there is so much more to me than meets the eye...Trey's blog (seefurtherthaniam.blogspot.com) title inspired me and I understand that people that don't know you can only judge what they see but this blog will let you deeper inside of my world....I only have one question....Are you ready???